Future

For a while now I`ve felt that I needed to start looking foreward but was stuck in the past and could see no further than the present. I couldn`t spend the rest of my life feeling and living like that but couldn`t see a way of separating the past from now and the years ahead.

Then it just came to me, all those feelings for Cliff and the life I once had. I knew those feelings would never  go away, so I put them all in a special place, somewhere I can visit when I choose but somewhere that doesn`t dominate my whole life and stops me moving on and having any kind of future.

After I was able to do this, I was able to smile and laugh without feeling guilty. After I was able to do this I was able to accept an invitation from a friend who has been enormously supportive, cheered me up and listened patiently on the phone while I felt like crying my eyes out.

So I finally managed to get my break away to the seaside where for the first time in a year and a half I felt like a normal person. The future, ahh the future.......we`ve even plans for that, Hazel, two years time, buy yourself a fancy hat