Saturday 21 May 2011

Saturday a year ago

It`s Saturday, just after 8.30am, I`d spent all night trying to get a doctor, you couldn`t breath properly, I`d half carried you out of bed onto the sofa, I was so scared. A knock at the door, she said to say goodbye, she held your hand, she was oh so subtly taking your pulse, so kind of her to make it look unclinical. Bigger gaps then quiet as I said goodbye, I hope you heard me. She left us alone, More goodbyes and without the pain you looked like Cliffy again.

I didn`t feel like I had a broken heart, it felt totally destroyed, still is but you would have hated the miserable me. I can hear the part of you who`s  still with me, "I`ll put you over me knee if you don`t cheer up" you`d say. The tears come when I`m alone chatting to you in the evenings, remembering but the rest of the time I`m managing to wear a smile, although I don`t think I`ll ever stop missing you, "Love you too Cliffy!".

We played this at our wedding when signing the register, not the usual mushy ballads people have at these occasions, it made most of them laugh. So go on sing your heart out Janis.


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