Getting things out helps

I want to thank all 3 followers for recent support. We talked about your friend Tim when you popped in for a cuppy, he wasn`t looking foreward to christmas. I joined in with the kids but felt very detached, that also happens if I`m out on my own, everyones busy getting on with their lives and I feel stuck somewhere also the alone in a crowd can happen no matter how many people I`m with.

I hope your friends counselling helps more than mine did. I`d pinned my hopes on it making me feel better, that I could open my heart to someone neutral, say things I`d normally keep to myself but she focused on practicalities not feelings as I`d hoped for. There was also a big clash of personalities, empathy wasn`t her thing. So now this.

When I see middle aged couples holding hands it still makes my stomach churn, it feels like it`s sunk to the ground then other things make me bite my tongue. there was a couple on the bus the other day, he stared straight ahead, she out the window for the whole hour long journey. I wanted to squeal at them, "for goodness sake talk to each other, you don`t know how lucky you are".

Right now the one thing I really want  is something I can never have and the one person to give me a big huge hug and make me feel better isn`t here.

Good old Wobble, I uncovered him today, gave him an airing. There`s still a faint smell of petrol plus the 2 stroke I splashed round in the tank. He was always reliable, always started, except the incident with electrics in the snow, always got us home safely. I don`t think the wiring on the new warning lights was ever finished (key removal with pilot light on, very dodgy business). Infact talking of his last big ride in the snow, I think I spotted some salt deposits in his fins so will need to get an old toothbrush in there. Other bikes came and went but not Wobble, Cliff used to say I could fiddle with any but never Wobble, so the picture of Cliff that the forum gave me, such a lovely thought,  is positioned in the shed overlooking Wobble so Cliff can keep an eye on me. Maybe one day Wobble will find a new home but for now and the forseeable future he can live with me. There`s not much room in the shed for taking photos but here he is.