Still Sorting

I`m still slowly sorting through Cliffs things, but not just stuff, these are all the things that made up part of his life, HIS things and I`ve to decide what stays what goes, what`s important and what`s not. And every time something goes into a charity bag I almost feel like I`m erasing a part of him. Closing accounts, sending back driving licence, unsubscribing to things all felt awful and was put off for as long as possible. The bank manager did sympathise as he noticed my expression when he cut up the cheque book, he let me keep the bank card and said he`d say I`d already destroyed it. Might seem odd but I just wanted something with his name on in the same way as I`ve not had the heart to change our e-mail address. I`m so pleased some of the forum members have accepted and are able to make use of some of the things from the shed, he`d have liked that.

Of course I`ve still kept a lot, things with memories are especially important. His helmet, yes those do hold smells and even when I couldn`t hear him I knew he was singing when it bobbed from side to side. Leather, tough, durable but more importantly it molds into and memorises the wearer, so his para boots and gloves are my treasures, this is going to sound so soppy but one glove lives under my pillow so I can, in a way, hold his hand.