Other people manage to get through this why not me, my Dad died in his fifties but we weren`t close, my Grandparents but both in their ninetys, it was time, but someone who you love and share your whole life with is so different, so hard. We were best friends, did things together, both chatty we talked endlessly, laughed, hugged and were just happy being together.
He never left or came back without giving me a hug, my recent tumble out of bed, I`ve moved to his side so I don`t have to see his empty space, half asleep I`d rolled over for my usual morning cuddle and landed face down on the floor, laughing at myself I looked up at his photograph, I`m sure he was smirking at me. I miss not having his hand to hold and his voice. It`s strange I can clearly remember things we did together, I can picture every inch of him but can`t make myself hear his voice no matter how hard I try.
Probably more a girly thing (?) but you dream of meeting someone who`s just right and I did except he was better than I`d ever imagined. When you`re feeling down you always try to look ahead and as emotions are transient you know there`s light at the end of the tunnel but I`ve already had my dream and know that whatever happens I`ll never feel so happy again.
Cliff was the most decent man I`ve ever met, he soaked up knowledge like a sponge, stoic, could make me crease up with laughter and kept his promise and treated me like a princess. But what he had bundles of was charisma and it shone through in those sparkly crystal blue eyes. The greatest compliment he ever gave me was when he said "you`re the female version of me, me with bumps". Near the end he looked at me and said with a grin, "I`ve ruinned you for any normal man". He was right!
I`ve read in those bereavment help leaflets "it`s like loosing a limb" no it`s not, who wrotes this stuff, it`s like having your soul ripped out..
Now for those attics.
No comments:
Post a Comment