Tuesday 28 June 2011

Insomnia

I`m prattling on a lot as I`ve been at home for the last couple of days and the house has been very quiet. Last week I was tripping over teenagers, this week my oldest daughter is off staying at her boyfriends Mum and Dads and youngest is mostly out with her friends, I`m glad they`re off out enjoying life. I just miss having someone to talk to and as I can`t seem to switch off these days this helps get some things out that keep rattling round my head. Some of it has been sort of me thinking out loud, trying to figure things out or make some sort of sense of it all. I try so hard to just go with the flow but all this stuff won`t go away. that`s why I like being at work, there I`m so busy I don`t have time to think and can be the old me for a while. Strange that I`m meticulously tidy and organised at work yet at home can`t even be bothered to dust. The little flat I had when I was young was tidier than this.

I`m back at work tomorrow through to Monday so some of this tension I`m feeling will ease. I really like the people I work with, most like me have some sort of reason for being there, whither it be illness, disability or grief and like me leave their problems at home and just get on with it with a smile, we actually all have a great laugh together, the fact that they can deal with their problems in this way, working to help others, has helped me with mine, very refreshing.

There`s a mug in the shop I`ve got to buy, on one side it says "Old Farts Club" and on the other "I`d rather be 40 than pregnant", any of the lady customers of a certain age always have a laugh at it, I want it, I want to be officially an old fart!! And yes, all my customers are lovely and nice and like a wee chat. Very broad spectrum, one woman came in with donation bags, turned out she was the president of the local branch of the red cross, a minor coup as I persuaded her to become a gift aider despite supporting another charity. When she left I noticed in the "title" box of the form "Lady" hmm never met a Lady before, she was actually very down to earth.

I hauled my biking gear out from under the stairs, it was all covered with cobwebs with creepy crawlies in my boots! My helmet is ancient, I`d always meant to get a replacement visor as it`s got a large scrape (not cracked through)  right down the front but perhaps I`m needing a whole new helmet as it`s so old. Just thought of the most stupid thing I`ve ever done on a bike, many many moons ago a boyfriend took me to a party on his bike, high heels (I used to want to be taller) and lycra frock is not exactly adequate protection and lycra slides all over the seat....I was a twat!!

Talking of frocks, a friend is going to a gothic wedding and having a black velvet dress made, I`m jealous, I always wanted a Morticia Adams frock!

2am, not tired, I could probably ramble on all night but wont. Another thought, I know lots of people and lots of invites for girls nights out (drew the line at line-dancing though) but Cliff was my best friend, everyone needs someone they`re able to pour their hearts out to, can talk about anything with as well as fun times. I`m not close to my family and wouldn`t burden the kids, I think I need a best friend (now for the bad joke), maybe I`ll check out e-bay!!

I`ve just noticed the Latin in your comment Simon. There were two routes to becoming a prefect at my old school, one was to take Latin the other was if your Dad had a "profession". I failed on both counts in that Art & Design, History and the Sciences were my favourite subjects (I escaped latin) and Dad worked in heavy engineering, Machining, so boiler suit rather than shirt and tie. My chances of becoming a prefect were "Doomed" (Private Frazer accent). So I had to google translate!!!

1 comment:

  1. I tend to find sleep won't come when I'm on early shifts (6 am start) but I think that's more my mind knowing I have to get up early and refusing to co-operate!
    Bloomin awkward, me.
    My flat is always a right tip, it would be far easier to get on and do things if it wasn't, but I just can't seem to keep it tidy (or, indeed, tidy it up in the first place!).
    I'm lucky with work in that the 3 of us who work together regularly are a good team and can talk about most things; one of my colleagues has lost her husband this year and says the same as you; home is very empty at times.
    Sounds like a new lid would be a good plan to be honest, if it's very old you may find it difficult to get a new visor and if the polystyrene inner has deteriorated it won't offer much protection.
    When I turned up top my Auntie's funeral last week, my sister reacted with horror to my wearing a suit on the bike...."what if you come off" sorta thing....but I reckon sometimes you just have to do these things, just a case of taking more care. Also I think at times you can compensate for having heavy duty kit on by riding perhaps a bit faster.
    I know that every time I've crashed, it's been in armoured kit, which begs the question...would I have had the accident if I had been wearing jeans or whatever? Dunno!
    I think that particular latin term was in pretty widespread use a while ago, certainly it was in the mid-'70s when I first started reading adult magazines (as in things like Railway Modeller, not the other sort of "adult" magazine!!), and I remember it being used as the punch-line in a limerick about a lady of negotiable virtue! I didn't do Latin at school, didn't see the use, although I suppose it does form the basis of several other languages......it just seems a bit daft learning a language no-one speaks!

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